Finding that joke about your fiancé just having to turn up on the day a little old? So how do you get your groom more involved in planning your wedding?
Maybe that joke about your new fiancé just having to turn up on the day isn't funny anymore. He doesn’t seem to be too interested in getting involved in wedding planning and you’re getting overwhelmed. So, what can you do to get him more involved?
Obvious or not, you’d be surprised how many brides don’t actually ask their future spouse on their opinion on many aspects of the wedding. He might have lots of ideas, but might think he isn’t allowed to voice them!
Remember though, if you ask for his ideas, you’re probably going to have to honour some of them! A little early lesson in marriage and compromise.
Pique his interest by playing to his strengths. Is your intended especially good at something in particular? Could one of his hobbies play a part in the planning? Give him a corner of the wedding planning that’s just his and don’t try to micro-manage it too much. Does he enjoy his wine? Put him in charge of the bar menu. Music fan? Ask him to pick the band.
No one wants to be interrupted during a busy day at work for their opinion on peonies or lilies (unless you’re a wedding planner!). Don’t make it the first thing you bring up the second you wake up or when you both sit down for dinner. Set aside a few hours in advance to talk about the important bits over a glass of wine, so you both have your full attention on the plans and each other.
Who doesn’t like cake? Regardless of the wedding that comes attached to it, the cake is an easy way to get your groom interested. It can be a fun date idea to go and choose your flavours together. Some bakeries will even give you free champagne to wash it down. What’s not to like?
If all else fails and the wedding plans are really not up his street, think about handing over the honeymoon plans to your fiancé. Consider making it a surprise for you and ask him to arrange it in secret, or give him a shortlist and let him choose where you go. Post-wedding planning life is bound to perk him up a little bit!
Planning a wedding is emotional and at times hard work, but it’s nothing compared to planning a life together - and that’s really what this is about. Your wedding is just the start of a new chapter in your life, and as long as your future husband is interested in that part, you’ve got nothing to worry about!
Valerie x
Looking for more wedding planning tips ?
Val Mattinson is the founder and Head Planner at Benessamy, specialising in luxury weddings and beautifully curated celebrations across the UK and the Caribbean. With over 15 years of experience, Val is known for her calm, reassuring approach and meticulous attention to detail — supporting couples and hosts who want an unforgettable experience without the overwhelm.
If you’re beginning your planning journey and would like expert guidance, get in touch to arrange an introductory call. Val would love to help you create a celebration that feels thoughtful, joyful and effortlessly seamless.
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